Sunday, February 28, 2016

i lost my crayons.

brusque teen 8:13 PM 4 comments

i lost my crayons.
it was when i was playing pretend in the backyard
or on the first day of school in 3rd grade.
i only cried once when god didn't help me find them.

soon, my mom bought me a new set of colored pencils
i knew she just wanted me to draw her more pictures.
she cherished my work.
but the new ones didn't look quite right.
the people were skinnier
and my lines were too short.
the long sticks of wood felt strange in my hand.
i kept dropping them.
they started to crack and i got splinters.
i was sick of the stupid pencils.

i looked back at my coloring book.
and the pages filled with colorful wax.
it smelled familiar and i wanted my crayons back more than anything.
but once you lose that box there's no going back.
with small splintered hands laced together and wet eyes staring up at the stars,
i wished for my crayons back.
but the stars only twinkled in response.
and the rocks i threw never reached them.
and i yelled at them for not hearing my little wish.

now,
so many years later,
i miss my colored pencils.
i never thought i would but i do.
i was always taking them for granted.
never realizing what i had when i had them.
now all i have is a black pen.
i only use it to trace the outlines of words already said.
right now i know i don't like this pen but i have a feeling in a couple months i'm gunna miss it.
i'll regret never using it as a brush.
cuz soon i'll only have the keys on this computer.
so i need to stop missing my colored pencils and my crayons and start loving this pen of mine.