April 2016

Sunday, April 10, 2016

i am.

brusque teen 10:29 PM 11 comments

i've enjoyed writing this blog.
it's been a way for me to work though a lot of tough things.
its honestly changed me more than i can express.
i dont know where i'd be today if i hadn't taken this class.
yeah, it seems like i'm over emphasizing the effect it's had on my life but trust me. i'm under emphasizing.
and there are just two more things i'd like to say.
one is to you kyle nelson. you have made a huge impact in my life. the way you taught us to open our eyes. and see things. to create things. its truly changed my life and has helped me figure out who i am and what i want to do. i hope you realize the way you help and change your students. thank you.

and lastly, i'd like to thank all of you for reading my blog, and for all the comments and encouragement.

sincerely,
ashby orgill

life and death

brusque teen 6:27 PM No comments

death.
ive felt his shadow on my back too many times.
ive seen his dirty work too many times.
for a while i forgot myself.
all i saw was darkness and daisies
daffodils and despair.
i found comfort in weakness because it was always there for me.
i forgot there were other filters than black and white.
my sunday tie turned into a noose,
and my bath tub turned into a comfy looking coffin.
and i wanted nothing more than to disappear into the shadows.
to be the shadows.

life.
for a while i forgot what it was,
it left my eyes.
it had no meaning to me.
no purpose.
but one day i realized.
i realized why i was alive.
i realized all the things i had.
all the things i could have.
i realized that life is beautiful.
i found the glacier lilies blooming.
i found the wind in the trees.
i found the sky.
i found my purpose.
and i found myself.

Sunday, April 3, 2016

afraid

brusque teen 1:29 PM 4 comments

my fears... my afraids:

im afraid of lots of things but fear is for losers.

and im afraid of being a loser.

and im afraid of being afraid.

but im afraid of not being afraid cuz then that would mean im brave.

and im afraid that if im brave, people will think that they can rely on me.

and im afraid of people relying on me because i know ill let them down.

im afraid of letting people down.

and im just afraid.
afraid of long conversations.
and getting stuck in an awkard situation.
im afraid of lung cancer
and of getting lost
of h-e-double hockey sticks

and the future
and im probably afraid of you.